Stop jokes
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
I should probably stop making abortion jokes.
After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”