I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
