Stop jokes

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.

A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.

The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”

What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

People: Stop invading Ukraine!

Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

A mouse is just like a ball bearing.

Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.