Stop

Stop jokes

Baby

What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.

Chess

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

Rape

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

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  • Little Johnny

    Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

    Adoption papers

    As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

    Loneliness

    It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

    People

    I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

    Friend

    My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

    Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

    Mum

    My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

    I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

    Music

    What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

    Friend

    I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

    Wife

    What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

    Hit your wife harder.

    Black kid

    How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

    Mouse

    A mouse is just like a ball bearing.

    Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.

    Russia

    Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

    Pokemon

    My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

    I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”