Stop jokes
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Stop the orphan jokes!
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"
Stop making these stop jokes. I'm running out of laugh gas.
Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!