Stop

Stop jokes

Man

One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."

  • 5
  • Feminist

    How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

    Baby

    Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

    Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

    Last Word

    I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

    Clown

    How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

    You shoot him in the face.

  • 6
  • Dick

    How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?

    When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.

    Chromosome

    Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!

  • 1
  • Dwarf

    Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

    Girlfriend

    I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

  • 4
  • Mom

    Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

    Suicide

    My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

    Man

    As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

    Orphan

    Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.

    Humour

    It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

    Fight

    My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

    Receptionist

    We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!

    Mama

    Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

    Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.