I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
how do u stop a baby from crying? throw a brick in its mouth
This is mean af yall need to stop this like wtf what would happen if u all grew up and u was like this like dam
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
What do you do when your dish washer stops working
Hit your wife harder
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh this handles so well !" they exclaimed. Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear ended them. Passenger said to his partner. " You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent cuz we're going to sue him !" So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said "What do you want wimp? " The gay said ," You just hit our new Pink Porsche and we're gonna make you pay every single cent cuz we're gonna sue you!" The trucker said " Oh yeah ? Blow me ! " Gay driver went " Ohhh!" And ran back. Gay partner asked him " What did he say ?" His fruitcake driver said " Ohhh! Its wonderful, he wants to settle out of court !"
So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)
What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people I mean they already have enough on their plates ... like cats and dogs
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man orders a beer one for him and one for the giraffe. After they finish their drinks the giraffe falls over and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door. The bartender says "Stop! you can't leave that thing lying on the floor" The man says "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe".
What do you call a person who's heart stopped... Dead
Why did the carrot roll down the hill? Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said "me find food" and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian "me find food" he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said "me find food" he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow? -- You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
