Stick jokes
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
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Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.