Steak jokes
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
What did the steak say to the other steak?
Hey, what's up?
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.