How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
How do rappers like their steaks?
With lots of SIZZLE!
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
what did the steak say to the other steak.
Hey, what's up?
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
How do you eat a meat? - you steak it in your mouth
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
