Steak jokes

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

When he died, the Angel came back for him.

"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

The steaks were pretty high.

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

"It's a strip steak, sir."

"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

Why don't cows make good policemen?

Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.