Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
Speech Jokes
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.
I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...
I got no joke.
Eschew obfuscation.
Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
Ready? Go!
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
What was I saying again?
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
"What? Where?"
