Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" š
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: āHaha heās so embarrassed that he doesnāt speak anymore...what an idiot!ā
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
What do you call a favorite joke that isnāt your favorite?
None fave. Foch heads.
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.
I donāt see whatās coming up, but I donāt know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...
Eschew obfuscation.
Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
What was I saying again?
