Sound jokes
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Memes
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What did the cow say?
Moo!
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
What does a cow say? Moo.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.