Sound jokes
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
What does a cow say? Moo.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
What did the cow say?
Moo!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"