What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!