What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears? Anything you want — he can’t hear you
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
What does the Fox say ? Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow
Knock knock
Who’s there
Who
Who who
You sound like an owl
One day I was on my phone then I got a text message from my Girl Friend, "Hey Sexy boy wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean..." then I just stopped and froze I read the message I said, "Yeah sure..." she replied really fast, "Theres going to be a few people there ok." but i didn't read the next message... she said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." but i didn't read it I walked into her house but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise and it sounded like HER!! so I hide behind the couch and I looked through the open door and saw somthing I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
wath goos boo a caw wath no lips
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who play Pumpes Up Kicks at max Volume
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate
why can i be black becouse I look like I have puberty and I sound like I had puberty
why does the please touch museum sounds like police touch musuem? because they gotta watch out for the pedos
A man is depressed and he sighs, a bully says stop sighing you sound like some guys having a threesome
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad ... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
harass say it out loud but slowly split that word in to and it sounds like her ass
if a tree could be any animal what would it be Answer: a dog bc of its bark lol😀
What’s the difference between a fly and lady Diana ? The sound when they hit the windshield
knock, knock. Who's there? who. who who? you sound like an owl.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW”
