Sound jokes
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
Our Deaf Friend
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.