Sound jokes
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”