Sound jokes
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
If you think I sound sexy, just reply "sexy."
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.
What song is the most annoying for a Serb?
Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.