My mom told me ̈YOU SON OF A B!TCH. ̈ i told her ̈i may be a son of a b!ch butat least i am not the bitch ̈. she hated me forever.
This is NOT my joke i found it on google its a texting joke Mom:Son youre grandma just passed away LOL Son:mom what do you mean LOL that means laughing out loud Mom:oh no i thought that meant lots of love i have to text everyone back!!!!
A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
so i walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies i stole one not noticing my mom was behind me.....so my mom said PUT THE COOKIE BACK KID!!!!and i said i wasn ́t gonna eat it and she said then she said nevermind i ́ll get you ́re father so my mom said HONEY DEAL WITH YOURE SON I ́M GOING TO THE MALL!! and my dad said son if ur not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!!so he went into his room and i heard the belt and i was going to run but i knew it would be worse so he said this will be you ́re punishment as he was getting ready to hit me i said daddy no please i wasnt gonna was not going to eat it but he said NO U WONT CHANGE MY MIND LITTLE BOY then he hit me THANK YOU FOR READING STAY HEALTHY AND STAY SAFE IN THIS TIME BYE!!! read more of my jokes they ́ll prob be around the website!!
Somebody’s son said mom my dick has white stuff coming out of it, she said oh good one son so when’s the baby coming
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year and he was so ungrateful like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to
Son: I love you dad
Dad:gets in car and drives away
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school? Bye son! Get it? Bye son Bison
Person one: What did the Dj name his son? Person two: IDK what Person one: Erik(while making a DJ motion)
One day a Chief was talking to his son..."Son," the father said, Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
i go 7u7 I sad i go 7u7 get rick and rolled my son
why did my name start with a L because it is lips lol
Dad: your`e adopted Son: where are my real parents? Dad: >:D they are ded now come to the`re grave and sleep there
son said to father last night was the best you and mom father said yeah me you and your mother had sex song said it was fun licking her P***** father said I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did did it feel good son said yes it was wanna do it again tomorrow father said YES BUT without your mom well suck each others dick and lick it and bite and shove each others dick next to each other son said yeah and if we do it again lets have mom and my girlfriend join next time father said ok its time to go to bed son son said ok love u can u and mom sleep with me without your clothes father said ok but you have to promise to go to bed son said ok see u there💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
what does B**** mean son asked father father said it mean your handsome son said ok your a B**** father of course not im not a B****
One day little Jonny and little Susan were in bible class and little susan had been tired that day so she kept falling asleep and the teacher said to little susan who is our lord and savier and little jonny poked her in the but with a push pin and she yelled JESUS CHRIST and the teacher goes thats right go back to be and then the next thing the teacher asked who gave up there son for our sins and little jonny poked her again and she yelled GOD AL MIGHTY and she says thats right go back to bed and the next quisten the teacher asked was what did ADAM SAY TO EVE after there 13th child little jonny poked her in the but again she yelled IF YOU STICK TAHT THING IN ME AGAIN I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHUV IT UP YOUR OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then 😂
