My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
SOn:hey dad im cold can you give me a lift from work
Dad:Hi cold, Nice to meet you sorry i dont pick up strangers
Son:I hate you
Hey gwen next time youre online can you go to son jokes i commented back to you and portory
Dad\mom:Son,your adopted .son:i know,.*holds up daddys phone that has the text of them talking about it.* dad:babe,we need to talk. mom:ok...... dad:hes grounded. mom:your right,your grounded! oh and im dumping you. son:am i getting a new daddy? mom:soon honey,soon.... dad:i really shouldnt have let her know i cheating
*SO IM sittin hear smakin on some cheese ball bb-q my titties* and then i saw the most the a shoe got shovel to r all the way up my ass i cried then turned around and said *MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!* the turned around punched the got smaked in the face went in for another punch got smaked in the face then people staring at me I said Wtf r u starin at i punched as hard as i can then got knocked out i though this *this isnt over motherfucker imma find u and kill u* next thing i new i was in the hospital they told me why tf were u fighting a stops sign? I said what u were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign i sad bitchi aint crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka
Son:Daddy? Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy, Your 11 years old feminine gay hoe Son: Whoa!? Daddy whats that Dad: Wtf are you talking about? Son: Your dick has it goten more tastier? Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc Dad: ooh nope im not havin a gay hoe's feind in my house no quit lookin at my dick you need some pussy Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em Mom: What the fugde is going on? Dad: Our sons a gay bitch Mom Launguage' so? i need to teach him how to like a girl huh? Dad: Yes Ma'am Plz Mom: Okay Mom: Herman Getch'er gay ass in my bed but naked i'll be there in 10 Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!?? Mom: Quit cursing im gonna fuck u extra hard!! Son: Ewww imm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww Mom: Shut it!!!, or imma recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies(pussy naked)* And show this to ur gay fuck friends! Son: Huh Son: Mom FUCK U* Mom: Okay baby imma fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off Son:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH Son: moms are the worst are they? Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun, This news, family neuters furry son
Little Johnny ask a fireman and do you want to see my fire truck so the fireman goes look at it little Johnny Test I got my hat in my fire truck so those fireman says last night's alright but why is it cacti up to you wagging and he look closer and so the string is tied up in knots and he said that nice all right but why is it tied up to his nuts the little Johnny said well that's my son and so he Yank on it
Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut 😂
Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they ́d crack each other up
Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it
I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me