Society jokes
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his butt.