Society jokes
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t have a home to go to.
What went through the heads of the people on the 142nd floor during 9/11?
The 143rd floor.
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Why are the lines on the gay pride flag straight?
What kind of flower do orphans use? Self-raising.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.