My social life.
Society Jokes
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
People generalize others too much.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Alle kinder hedder Rune, undtagen Kurt, han hedder Rune.
All the kids are named Rune, except Kurt, he is named Rune.
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?
A. I respect prostitutes.
One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.
Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
