Society jokes
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
I once got in trouble in the library for putting the women's right book in the fantasy section.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.