Society jokes

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

There is a feminist group in my town.

It is called Gal-Qaeda.

(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)

Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"

The priest says, "Because I'm a father."

Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."

The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."

Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.

China has a population of a billion people. One billion.

That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

What's an orphan's least favorite store?

Home Depot.

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

Why can't orphans eat chips?

Because they come in family size.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.