Society jokes

What do you call an overweight psychic?

A four chin teller.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

An autistic man walks into a bra.

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?

The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.

There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

Where do orphans have their family reunions?

The graveyard.

How do Asians name their babies?

They throw pots and pans around.

"Ching, Chang, Clang!"

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.