Society jokes
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
A young couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
Sure
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
"Mhm... So you're gay?" -Darling
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
Either way, they’ll kill your dog.
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!