Society jokes
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
A young couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Finger food.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Imagine everyone being hoes.
"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."