Society jokes
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"