Social Interaction jokes
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Memes
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
Y'all are so rude on here. If you don't like what I put on MY profile, you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!
Gwen, you need to shut up, for once!
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"