I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
