Smoking

Smoking Jokes

THIS IS A RYTHME

jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana

jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said u know u wanna

jill said yes as he grabbed her dress

and they had a little fun

jill forgot her pills so now they have a son

What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

a guy stuffed some cigarrets up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors. The next day he could see only one color... Black

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

9

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf,

Jack got high and dropped his fly,

and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"

A blind man once told me, he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward. Well, let just say that I see his point.

what do you call dude that is always high and gets higher then everyone else in the family the alpha pot head