A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, โYou are in your 50โs now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.โ I asked why. She replied, โBecause Iโm trying to examine you, yaโ pervert!!!โ
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokinโ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
After 9/11, the Twin Towers began to vape and smoke weed... ๐
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Whatโs the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
