I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf...
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
A young innocent little girl is playing hopscotch and she says you step on a crack you brake you're mamas back and then she step on a crack so her mothers back proceeded to brake slowly then she said you step on a line you brake your dadas spine but the neighbours spine broke and in happiness the thought to be previouse father gets in his car and drive through the garage door...
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug" you are letting it slowly die.
Did u know a erasor on a pencil slowly dies of your mistakes and did u know your actually supposed to live for 25 min but every time u breath resets time
When you get caugh about to shoot up the school. *slowly puts AR to chin*
Of you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange".
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you starting at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you 'baby' now~
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing it's fame
TIME FOR A REMAKE
harass say it out loud but slowly split that word in to and it sounds like her ass
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
A Pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly the man answers I dont wake up the kids.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’
