Delay

Delay Jokes

Little Johnny

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."

Orphan

Why can orphans never be kidnapped?

No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."

Train

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

  • 1
  • Mom

    So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

  • 0
  • Memes

    Prescription

    A man gets an email from his doctor.

    "Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."

    The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"

  • 4
  • Congestion

    A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.

    Mama

    Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.

    President

    Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?

    He’s just Biden his time.

    Wife

    My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

    Dad

    Your dad left you because he went for milk.

    *1,000,000 years later*

    Her: Dad come back!

    Him: FBI open up!