A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Size Jokes
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!
Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
Yo mama’s so fat, she wore the equator as a belt! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!
Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
