Size jokes
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!
Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
Yo mama’s so fat, she wore the equator as a belt! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.