New Shower Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."

So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.

So, Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's. So he goes home and asks his mom, who's cooking, "What's the first letter of the ABC's?" He asks, and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!"

So then he walks to his sister, who's singing in the shower, and asks her, "What's the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" She responds with "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" Then he walks over to his brother, who's watching Batman, and asks, "What's the 3rd letter of the ABC's?" and his brother responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then he proceeds to walk to his dad, who's watching football, and asks, "Dad, what's the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" Then he walks to his grandma, who's cooking buns, and asks her, "What's the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" Then Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day, and the teacher says to her class, "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's?" Johnny, of course, raises his hand, and the teacher calls on him. Then he says, "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" Then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says, "Young man, are you ready to go to the principal's office?" Then he proceeds to say, "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principal's office. Then she says, "What's your name, son?" He responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then the principal asks, "How many spankin's, boy?!" He responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" and after that, he runs out of the principal's office while yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.

So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.

"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."

They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."

"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"

"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.

"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."

"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"

"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."

A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.

A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.

A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.

My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."