Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying.

10 Fun Facts

  1. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
  2. You can’t count your hair.
  3. You can’t breath through your nose with your tongue out.
  4. You just tried number 3.
  5. When you did number 3, you realized it’s possible, only you look like a dog.
  6. You’re smiling right now because you were fooled.
  7. You skipped number 5.
  8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5.
  9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?

She washed up on the beach.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…?

The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!

(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)

Man: Ah… suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I’ll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore…

Why was the astronaut 👩‍🚀 washing her hands?

She was getting ready to eat launch 🚀🥪.

Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”? Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!

A Man Gets Captured By Cannibals Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, “You can kill me or you can eat me, but I’m tired of getting stuck for drinks.”

Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker? I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

I’ve always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me. That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

what do mermaids wash thier fins with?

Tide

What’s the difference between a women and a washing machine? The washing machine doesnt follow you after you put a load in it.

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle? Son: Why? Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

When your girl is sucking your dick and chockes on it not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks

Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.

Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.

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