Wash

Wash jokes

Dad

    • What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

    Seaman

    • Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

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    • Hand

    • Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?

    They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.

    Wash memes

    Name

    • 1. Full name: John.

    2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

    3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

    4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

    5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

    6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

    7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

    8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

    9. Working motivation: none.

    I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.

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    • Sock

    • What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

    They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

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    • Baby

    • What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?

    Hitting it off with a cricket bat.

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    • Sadness

    • You were sad because your grandmother died.

    The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

    Woman

    • Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

    Patient

    • A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

    "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

    She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

    She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

    "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

    "Are - my - test - results - back?"

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    • Trucker

    • Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"

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    • Dick

    • When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.

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