Shot jokes
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.