Shorts jokes
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Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.