Short jokes
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!