Short jokes
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
How's your day going?
Shut up, I didn't ask.
Use code tiko#teamfish
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
I'm freshfry. I don't know what Alya's problem is, but just leave her alone, ok? Thanks.
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.