Short jokes
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
kiibati orojo?
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.