Short jokes
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
After 9/11, the Twin Towers began to vape and smoke weed... 😔
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?