Short jokes

Short jokes

Height

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

Chandelier

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

Lamp

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Woman

Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.

Asian

What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?

Wrong тайминг.

Hand

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Yeast infection

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Son

What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.

Suicide

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

Violence

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

Cat

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”