Short jokes
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!