Short jokes
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
You dream in 4K.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"