Short jokes
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Because the Africans couldn't swim.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."