Short jokes
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.
And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
I'm stumped.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"