Short jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."