Short jokes
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.