Short jokes
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.