Short jokes
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
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What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”