Short jokes
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.