Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Short Jokes
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Sam Gonzales
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Potatoes
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
