Short jokes
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
Bruh, don't be punny.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.
I threw a gay person into a fire. Now we call him LGBBQ.
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"