Short jokes
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.