Short jokes
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...