Short jokes
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Oh well, I.H.N.! I.H.N.!! I.H.N.!!!
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.