Short jokes
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?
A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.