Short jokes
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.