Short jokes
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?
NOTHING!
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
I am your leader.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”