Short jokes
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
That one depressed friend.
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.