Short jokes
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
What was the ballpoint's favorite sport? Pen-nis.
Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.