Short jokes
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
It's ya boy Dixbfloppin!
Yo momma so slutty, she won't even be offended by this joke.
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.