Short jokes
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
I support LGBTQ.
Let's Go Bully The Queers.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
Have you heard the Twin Tower jokes? Well, they're more down than the Twin Towers.
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.
What is this?
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!