Short jokes
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?