Short jokes
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.