Short jokes
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.