Short jokes
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.