Short jokes
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce.
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.