Short jokes
I have a secret crush on your momma.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
I gotta do terrorist :)
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
What is the worst part of milking a cow? The smell of the dairy air.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
"Stupid ass baby."
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.