Short jokes
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?