Short jokes
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!