Short jokes
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.