Short jokes

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.

What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?

Me & my dad!

If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.

What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?

The Jackson 4.

Why does NASA only serve Coke?

Because they can't get Seven-Up!

Your butt is bigger than Uranus!

What does the Bible stand for?

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

Hitler.

Don't bully.

What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...

Prawn cocktail.

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?

Ripping it off with a kick!

Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!

I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.

What is Beethoven doing right now?

Nothing, because he is dead.

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?

Like this if you are in foster care.

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

What do you call a mushroom that makes music?

A decomposer.

What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!