Short jokes
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.