Short jokes
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.