Short jokes
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.