Short jokes
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
I'm fucking retarded.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...
Have a nice day! 🙂😊
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"