Short jokes
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"