Short jokes

JACK AND JILL 2.0

After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,

Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,

And Jill screamed "Chill!"

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!

Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?

Ow!

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?

Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

If you humped a whale, it would humpback.

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.

So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

What do you call a nervous Jedi?

Panakin.