Short jokes
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
What do you call a stupid meme and a Mexican fighting? Juan on Juan.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
What did the 12-year-old boy say to the priest?
Nothing, because his mouth was full.
Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
My dad coming back.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.