Short jokes
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?
It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"
Like this if you are in foster care.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.