Short jokes
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
I put glue in a man :)
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10