Short jokes
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
1+1? Too hard.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?
A: An American.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.