Short jokes
Hi 👋 magic school 🏫.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Why does America have more guns than people?
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
"Dustin Jordan Manna should have been an abortion."
You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!