Short jokes
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!