Short jokes
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I had amnesia once... maybe twice.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Xd.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
F*ck me!
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."