Short jokes
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."