Short jokes
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Is Gwen still on this app thing?