Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Short Jokes
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
