Short jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.