Short jokes
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.