Short jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.