Short jokes
Arsenal
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
A seal walks into a club.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
F*ck me!
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.